Axegrinder’s alternative British Press Awards:
Most uplifting opening comments
Presenter Jon Snow, who opened by saying that he felt like he was on the deck of the Titanic – “But don’t worry it’s not listing, you’re just drunk”. He went on to assure Britain’s journalists that this Titanic wouldn’t sink. Thanks Jon!
Jon Snow: “What’s the difference between a pigeon and an investment banker? A pigeon can put a deposit down on a Bentley.”
Most heartfelt tribute
Political journalist of the year Quentin Letts – who dedicated his prize to his “muse” House of Commons speaker Michael Martin: “He’s absolutely useless and I wouldn’t have him any other way.”
Most sexist comment
Director of the Society and chairman of the British Press Awards judges Bob Satchwell set back the cause of women in journalism by decades with his quip after coming on stage following the performance from glamorous classical quartet Escala. “My ambition is come back in the next life as a cello!”.
Most multi-tasking editor
The Daily Mirror’s Richard Wallace who was spotted at a Grosvenor House urinal operating his blackberry with one hand whilst…well Axegrinder didn’t like to look to see what he was doing with the other.
Best point made of the night
Guest speaker Vince Cable MP who said, noting Fleet Street’s current interest in the expenses of MPs, that he felt he was in good company given the “monastic self restraint” he know that all journalists have when it comes to compiling expenses claims.