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September 21, 2008

The ego has landed

By Grey Cardigan

Ah Piers, dear Piers. Writing one of his many Mail on Sunday columns today, Mr Morgan announces that he’s making an ITV documentary about Hollywood and goes on to relate a tale of how he drove the paparazzi into a frenzy by arranging to meet the Osbournes for lunch.

Alas, he then boasts that ‘We were mobbed by more than 40 photographers as we arrived, and duly posed and preened – as my ITV crew filmed everything from a few yards away.”

‘My’film crew? Are you sure about that, dear boy?

When a young pup out on a job, I once made the mistake of referring to the accompanying snapper as ‘my’photographer. If looks could kill, I would have dropped dead on the spot. And the next time I visited the darkroom, I was ‘accidentally’sprayed with chemicals that reduced my best trousers to rags within minutes.

Piers already has enough enemies – have I told you that he still owes me two grand? – without alienating the people who are supposedly paid to make him look good.

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