Dog watches dog 13.02.03

One good surprise deserves another

Who was the more surprised? TalkSPORT chief Kelvin MacKenzie when he rang the Evening Standard with a feature idea, or the woman who answered the telephone.

He found himself talking to Sue Reid, who hadn’t spoken to him since she arranged for a journalist to confront him at a Barbados lovenest with a News International secretary in 1993.

Reid is covering for Standard associate editor (features) Guy Eaton while he is on his honeymoon, but 10 years ago was a Mail on Sunday executive, as MacKenzie clearly recalled.

When freelance journalist Ron Laytner surprised him in the Caribbean for the MoS, Sun editor MacKenzie demanded to know who had sent him. “Sue Reid”, replied Laytner. “Tell Sue Reid –well done”, said a sporting MacKenzie, putting his hands up to being found out.

Reid was on the ball again this time, quickly commissioning MacKenzie. “I hope he’s going to get his copy in on time,” she said.

Lockwood fans flames from afar

An “alarm call” at 12.40pm on Sunday almost brought out the good Samaritan in a local newspaper publisher Danny Lockwood. But not quite.

The police responded to a newspaper office alarm and keyholder Lockwood was woken from his slumber. Except the alarm was at his former paper the Dewsbury Reporter –arch-rival of Lockwood’s The Press.

“I told the police that if there was a fire I’d be straight down with a couple of jerry-cans of petrol,” quipped Lockwood. “I told the Reporter’s ad director, David Baird ‘I don’t mind helping out. I’ve probably got a key somewhere’ but I’m not sure that went down well. They probably had the locksmiths in on Monday.’

Heartbroken souls

“Answer the following question correctly,” says an advert in the New Statesman, “and send on a postcard to New Statesman Competition, Overstone Road, London.”

The lucky winner could look forward to £40 theatre tokens which would give, “the Perfect Passionate Performance for Valentine’s Day at London’s West End or at theatres across the country.” Unfortunately, they forgot a rather crucial detail. A question for readers to answer.

So once again Dog is doomed to a lonely night, alone in the kennel.

Operation twinkle in the eye on hold

You have to get up pretty early in the morning to get anything past Economist readers, as illustrated by the reader who wrote in to complain this week that the magazine had used the phrase “twinkle in the eye” three times in one issue.

“Are you in the pay of security services, sending cryptic messages to operatives through stylistic code?,” he asks. “Or are you deliberately trying to drill your non-native English readers with one idiomatic expression each week?”

Cage & Avery Birds

Readers of Cage and Aviary Birds had their feathers ruffled earlier this month when they found to their horror, an advert for a “feminine massager” nestling among the pages of their favourite magazine.

“Having served many years on the lower deck of the Royal Navy I am certainly not a prude,” thundered one reader, “but i do object to publications containing such adverts dropping on my doormat for what is for us a family read.” Editor Donald Taylor was suitably apologetic and pledged to all readers that “this is the first and last time such an advert will slip through.” Those marketing the Omax vibrator should leave it to magazines such as Bizarre, who recently reviewed the product, to get excited about it. “It’d get an orgasm out of a stone!” it gleefully exclaimed.

Tomorrow in The Independent: Matthew Paris. My Greatest Mistake

In promoting its “greatest mistake” column, The Indy’s media pages made a great one of their own. Mr Parris spells his name with two Rs.

Sullivan mix-up is a right old boob

Dog is always intrigued to keep up with the extra-curricular career of Daily Sport publisher David Sullivan, but was a little perplexed to find him popping up in a story on Bristol City Football Club in the current issue of B2B newsletter Leisure Report.

Inside, Sullivan is quoted extensively as Bristol City chairman, extolling the virtue of the second division club’s business plan.

But Dog wonders what the real Robins boss Steve Lansdown made of Sullivan’s eloquent notes. Or indeed the board at Birmingham City, where Sullivan is actually in charge.

Still, it’s an easy mistake to make. Any sentence involving Bristols is bound to bring Sullivan to mind.

Kylie’s knickers stolen

A plaintive plea from Ian Quinn, news editor of Press Gazette’s sister title Media Week;

“Kylie’s knickers have been stolen from the 4th floor –a framed pair of Kylie’s hotpants have gone missing. Would the culprit please own up.

any leads please phone extension 4320

Ian Quinn”

Dog has no wish to know what Quinn was doing with Miss Minogue’s pants in the first place, nor indeed whether she was aware he had them.

F1 Jackson

From last Thursday’s London Metro;

FORMULA ONE: World 60metre hurdles record-holder Colin Jackson suffered a defeat at last night’s Sparkassen International indoor meeting in Dortmund.

Hurdler Colin Jackson may be quick, but he’s not quite at F1 levels.

Late breaking news

EDP24, the Eastern Daily Press website, is usually first with the East Anglian news. But this piece seems to be 104 years out of date;

Fearon jailed despite ‘notoriety’ plea

December 30, 1899

The burglar shot by Norfolk farmer Tony Martin has been jailed for 18 months on a heroin charge after he attempted to have the case against him thrown out –claiming his notoriety would make it impossible to get a fair trial.

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