Dog watches dog 04.11.04

Critical support earns Alison a TV namesake

Radio Times TV editor Alison Graham got something of a surprise when
she watched a preview tape of Channel 4’s new show Max & Paddy’s
Road to Nowhere .

In the fourth episode of the comedy series, a TV journalist who
appears in a number of scenes goes by the name of… Alison Graham.

A coincidence? Not a bit of it. As the show’s creator Peter Kay
(right) told Graham when she visited for a Radio Times interview: “I
put that in months ago, before I even knew you were coming to see me,
because you’ve always been really supportive of me, right from That
Peter Kay Thing [his first TV series in 1999]”. Alison was a big
champion of his subsequent Phoenix Nights, too. It also explains why
Alison is the only writer he would talk to about his new series. Her
response? “Of course, I am thrilled to bits and very flattered.”

Sober Scots feeling MS Peed off

It appears that the restaurant and bar (pictured right) in
Scotland’s new parliament building at Holyrood is losing money hand
over fist. Could this be because it is off limits to the hacks who are
strictly observing a self-imposed ban after a contretemps with
presiding officer George Reid over limiting access to only Mondays and
Fridays? Indeed, the ban is so rigid that three misguided hacks, who
were reported imbibing with MSPs, were formally reprimanded by the
Scottish Political Journalists’ Association.

Sadly, it appears that even the 129 MSPs, who have the most
exclusive watering hole in the UK, are shunning the bar. Is George
Reid, a formidable former journalist and broadcaster, now contemplating
a piece of peace-making pragmatism with the principled but obstinately
thirsty journos?

Lost for words

Spare a thought for the editors and journalists of the Chicago
Tribune. On the night before the US election they were called in to the
newspaper’s print centre to help deal with an emergency, which required
them to remove-by hand-a section of the paper after it came off the

The reason? A headline from the women’s section on a piece about use
of swearwords, “You c-nt say that? (Or can you)”, was belatedly deemed

The ripping session finished around midnight, in plenty of time for
them to head back to the office for the busiest news day of the year.

Fowl play for Terry

Surrey Herald chief reporter Terry Pattinson became a news item when
he covered the Spelthorne Drama Festival annual awards night for his

The adjudicators awarded him the trophy for best supporting actor
for his role as Le Clerc in the stage version of the TV comedy ‘Allo

Pattinson said: “It was quite embarrassing and a genuine shock
because I was only on stage for five minutes. The award should have
gone to the stuffed parrot and cockatoo on my shoulder.”

Plainly, the Fokkers got it wrong…..

From the Stockport Express. Could it be that staff are too young to remember the war? Let’s hope they know who won.








Former US president Bill Clinton is still on the make. For one of
his first public appearances since his heart operation Clinton agreed
to be a speaker at this year’s American Magazine Publishers’ conference
in Florida- but with the proviso that his remarks should not be
reported. That somewhat riled the editors attending the conference- who
in general ignored his edict. Not that he had anything much to say
-beyond exhorting the conference delegates not to forget to vote in
this week’s presidential election. For that he was well paid-at least
in kind. His compensation: a million dollars worth of free adverts for
the Clinton Presidential Library. Which magazines will run the ads is
not clear, but the principal organisors of the conference this year
were Newsweek and Time, which also paid Clinton’s airfare to Florida. A
full-page four colour ad in all editions of Time normally costs about

No sex please… I’m an Evening Times phone perv’

Much fun at the Glasgow Evening Times after the alleged sexual
pecadilloes of an anonymous “executive” on the newspaper were revealed
in a Scotland on Sunday interview. The interview was with Anvar Khan,
the sex columnist in the News of The World’s Scottish edition, to mark
her debut novel Pretty Wild. The novel is an x-rated version of her
column and Khan is expansive on journalists whom she calls a “bunch of
slutty bastards”, while confessing that she herself is “a professional
media whore”.

Khan boasts about her sexual conquests (about 150), explaining: “I
enjoy sex and men are very easy to get into bed because they never say
no.” But evidently not in the case of the Evening Times man, called
“Kelvin” in the book, who insists on keeping his distance, buying her
expensive pants but only wanting phone sex. “For him I was 0898 Anvar,”
she groans.


“Freelance Reviewers (USA, Canada & UK) Location USA, Canada &
UK job area Content posted on 25/10/2004 We’re looking for freelance
writers interested in reviewing adult websites. Must have a good
knowledge of the subject (come on admit it). Must have a sense of
humour. Must be able to work remotely. £5 per review (150 words) plus
access to sites.”

From the freelancers.net web site. Perhaps the ‘perks’ of the job
justify the paltry £33.33/1,000 words fee. And for those considering an
application, Dog feels it his duty to point out the unmentioned risk
that could accompany the job: RSI.

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