Take a bow Jaya Narain for you have today crafted a pitch-perfect Daily Mail intro:
“A gay man tried to poison his lesbian neighbours by putting slug pellets into their curry after he was accused of kidnapping their three-legged cat.”
Can anyone think of a more compelling first paragraph?
High Court hears libel battle between Carole Cadwalladr and Arron Banks 
University vice-chancellor blasts 'meddling journalists' in speech to stricken council 
Boris Johnson's Telegraph column comparing Muslim women with 'letterboxes' led to Islamophobia 'spike' 
Three men admit attacking Guardian columnist Owen Jones but deny it was motivated by homophobia 
Millions watch Andrew Neil call out Boris Johnson over one-on-one interview snub 
Media and Communication Manager (Shift Worker), Met Police
News Editor, Sky Sports News
Sports Sub-Editor, Times and Sunday Times