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January 14, 2014

Will Philandering Francois give journalist Valerie Trierweiler La Guillotine?

By Axegrinder

Philandering Francois Hollande is deeply upset that his privacy has been invaded by the French media.

It seems the President of France, the man that embodies the nation, is angry about this breech of protocol. His outrage though is more centred on the fact that one journalist in particular has been made aware of his nocturnal activities, his partner Valerie Trierweiler.

Trierweiler, 48, was rushed to hospital after Closer magazine had the temerity to publish photographs of her dearly-beloved Francois Hollande doing the short walk of shame to a three-wheeled scooter from the not-so-secret love nest he shares with actress Julie Gayet.

Despite being humiliated by the normally supine French media, Trierweiler has gamely let it be known that she would be willing to forgive Hollande and continue as France’s First Lady.

Axegrinder, after talking to his French counterpart La Guillotine, has discovered that the poor old Paris Match correspondent is as popular with the ordinary Joe Savon on the boulevard as the much maligned Marie Antoinette who also enjoyed the finer things in life at the expense of the little people. Now, a modern French woman would never countenance the offer of free cake, but Trierweiler does enjoy a wing of the Elysee Palace along with access to a private jet and a fleet of limos.

Luckily Axegrinder has decided to give up cynicism as one of his new year resolutions and accepts that Trierweiler’s shock at Hollande’s infidelity must be genuine. Because it is not as if Hollande has any prior form (apart from the time he dumped the mother of his four children, and partner of 30 years Segolene Royal, for a certain Valerie Trierweiler).

So the new non-cynical Axegrinder can fully understand why Trierweiler was so shocked that she needed a week to recover in hospital and her willingness to forgive Hollande. And it’s nothing to do with clinging on to her palace apartments, private jets and grace-and-favour homes all over France.

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Although for Hollande, he might want to steer clear of the Elysee Palace for a while – or as it will be known until he apologises for his extra-curricular activities – la maison du chien. 

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