Brown as a Stalinist is far from picture perfect

Curse Lord Turnbull for saying that Gordon Brown was a bit of a Stalinist. Now everyone wants you to draw Gordon as Comrade Gordon.

You try (well, I know that’s not your job, lucky you)

drawing Gordon Brown at all, let alone with a Stalinist moustache. He is the most difficult man in the world to simplify, just like his budget. From whatever angle – front, back, side view, it’s almost impossible to capture him (I speak for myself, not one of the greatest caricaturists). He’s bloody puzzling. And now that he’s had a makeover on his choppers, he’s been told to smile all the time.

One could have some fun with Tony Blair with his ears, gummed-on smile, and of course Cherie added to the fun. I have had a strip about Tony in The Spectator, The Blairs, from the moment he popped onto the stage, and now that I’ve got used to drawing him I’ve got to start all over again, trying to pin down Gordon, heavyjowled, heavy-lidded, heavy all over.

I expect all other cartoonists are burning the midnight oil thrashing him out, and in the end he will start looking like a cartoon by Steve Bell or Garland or Paul Thomas or Peter Brookes. He will then write in for the originals and hang them in his loo, therefore getting his revenge.

Meanwhile, we “brother brushes”, as Osbert Lancaster used to call us, will forget how to draw Tony, and Maggie, Footâ€¦ and they’ll just fade away.

Of course it might not be that Gordon ends up at Number 10. It could be someone else altogether – someone much easier to draw, I hope. So for selfish reasons, you’ll understand that I don’t want to see Gordon Brown as the next Prime Minister.